Wherein I Explain Moonlight vs. Sunlight, And Conclude That Vampires Are Actually Plants

by E.V. Jacob on September 16, 2013

A good friend posted this image on Facebook:


And asked her writer friends (Mark Lidstone and myself, namely) to come up with a theory as to why this works. 

I thought my answer was too good to be lost to Facebook, so here you have it:


OK, vampires aren’t killed by sunlight, they’re just killed by too much sunlight.  The same way a human would die without the protection of Earth’s atmosphere and/or a space suit, a vampire will die under direct sunlight, because the ozone layer doesn’t distribute enough heat to remove the danger for vampires (though humans, with their higher tolerance to sunlight, are fine with just ozone protection…and maybe a little sunscreen).

That’s where the moon comes in.  Just as the ozone distributes heat more evenly and even filters out or softens some of the deadlier radiation, the moon also weakens the effect of the sun’s light, making it safe for vampires.  In fact, moonlight (i.e., diluted sunlight) may even be necessary for them to an extent—much like humans need to get a bit, but not too much, sunlight to be healthy.

This sensitivity is brought on not only by their inherent nature, but also by the stunningly light pigment of vampire skin.  It’s essentially an extreme case of albinism, which might serve as a natural equalizer, since vampires are superior to humans in almost every other way, and so need to have SOME weaknesses (nature is big on giving a disadvantage for every advantage).

Their eyes are also more adjusted to nighttime, like those of an owl, so in truth, even if they could tolerate the sunlight with SPF 1000 or proper attire, they likely wouldn’t want to.  A vampire walking around during the day is akin to a human floating in space without a spacesuit—highly overexposed and vulnerable beyond measure.

Frankly, seeing as vampires thrive on blood and moonlight, they’re almost more like plants than animals—perhaps one of the secrets of vampires is that they survive through a system similar to photosynthesis.

So in reality, they’re kind of like…deadly, blood-sucking…trees.  Yeah…

  • Pat Sponaugle

    That’s a wonderfully theory, and has the benefit of associating vampire activity with full moons. (Some old vampire stories I read as a kid insisted vampires only hunted during the full moon.)

    • http://www.ravenhartpress.com/ Elena Jacob

      I had a lot of fun with it–all from a Facebook comment! :D And yes! I had heard such lore before, too, and I always wanted to do something with that…perhaps there is a young adult vampire romance novel in my future ;) (but…you know…an actually GOOD one)

      • Pat Sponaugle

        You can do it!

Previous post:

Next post: